Hi again. TGIF!
This morning, I woke up feeling very uninspired - didn't want to go to work, didn't want to get dressed, didn't want to do much of anything. I find that listening to music while getting ready often dissolves this lackluster state of mind. Ah, the power of song.
This morning, I listened to an artist named Arthur Russell (via Songza.com). From a first listen, he sounded like a fusion between Steven Page of the Barenaked Ladies and Justin Vernon from Bon Iver...especially in songs like "Our Last Night Together" and "I Couldn't Say it to Your Face." While his tone in most of the songs struck me as lachrymose and sedate, the musical composition itself ranged from classically austere (he was trained as a cellist at the Manhattan School of Music) to instrumentally variegated (he often layered electro-afro-pop elements over the cello). In any case, he sounded so current to me that I wanted to learn more about him. I did a little research, only to find that he died from AIDS at the age of 40 in 1992. (Seems as though he preceded Steven Page and Justin Vernon - perhaps he inspired them?)
I must admit that I often experience such disillusionment with music - that is, I become somewhat infatuated with an artist I identify as "new," "current," or "relevant," only to find that the artist is no longer living. Examples: Nick Drake and Jeff Buckley. They are incredible, timeless, immortal. I guess that's the beauty of great musicians (and great artists in general): the music they create transcends time, trend, and their own existences. There is something magical, albeit paradoxical, about "posthumous living."
A noteworthy idiosyncracy of Russell's was that he could not bring any of his musical creations to completion - he was never fully satisfied with any of his art. I don't know about you, but I can definitely relate to that - most of the time I feel as though my art isn't valuable because it doesn't achieve that sort of realistic perfection that I see in paintings done by the Old Masters. But then I listen to Russell's music and I see true aesthetic value in his somewhat nasal tone and his departure from classical composition. To me, the imperfection sounds beautiful - poignantly human.
I do find it difficult to stop comparing myself to artists that have come before me. But maybe stale, static perfection on a canvas is not all there is to create. I know that I have an ability to create motion with a paintbrush, to bring photographs to life, to add special nuances that a photograph cannot elicit. I hope that one day I can fully grow into my own style - to learn from the past but not become stuck there, to evolve my art with my own feelings, sensations, and experiences. To become fully invested in the moment. I'll give it a try.
For now, here's a video of a collection of my paintings (and one drawing) that I've "finished" and some that are still in progress. Also, give Arthur Russell a listen. Let me know what you think ;)
Have a great weekend! xo, AT
